Trying to

I am trying to just be in the weekends.

My job is so stressful and my youngest son complains about how much time I spend there and then when I am home I do work that I am trying my hardest to not do work from home.

I just can't keep still.

You would think that I would be skinny because I always have to have my mind going.  I have taken up crocheting (yeah I know I sound like an old lady but I am only 46 years old and it keeps me off the computer)

It has been working for my anxiety as I used to worry and worry about things but in the last month with crocheting and keeping my mind off work it has done wonders for my anxiety.

I work with about 14 woman and some of them can be the bitchiest ladies I have met in my life.  Some are really lovely but some I just wish they would try to see the good in people instead of being cows and bitching about people (yeah I know I am bitching about them but....) they go out of their way to make peoples lives horrible.  One in particular has gotten rid of a lot of her Managers and others because she doesn't like one thing about them.  This one in particular though has no life other than work so she tries to control everything.  I don't trust a word that comes out of her mouth.

I hate that I can't trust the people I work with.  In this organisation I have worked in another group and I loved working with them as they care about the people around them.

Why are people like this?  I have wanted to quit so many times but I love my job and the company and the big big boss actually does care what happens to certain parts of this company and the good things he does is amazing.

I suppose that any company will have these sorts of people. and I have to just deal but sometimes it is just so hard.

You have to be the right size and the right other things to make it anywhere there and I hate that.

So now I have that off my chest.

Dyed my hair today and had a long long hot spa bath and face mask and feel really good about it.  When I lost 42 kgs last time I used to make it a habit to have a pampering day once a week and it was great but gave that up and I do think that I was a fool to stop them.

Not sure about my hair colour this time.  I thought it was going to be a dark chocolate colour but it turned out black arghhhhh but my hubby and 18 year old son said that it wasn't really that bad but I am not sure.  It is quite dark for me.