Will you be my support?

Weight today: 144.2 (317.2 lbs)  - Loss of 800 grams (1.8 lbs)

I am sick of letting myself down.

Why can't i get my head in to this.  I want to feel healthy and happier but I can't seem to get myself to do it.  I sabotage myself.

I need to work out how to fix my head.

I started back on the online weight watchers again.

I want to feel happy again.  I am scared.  So scared to blog though.  I let it all out years ago in my other blog and had so many followers and I lost a lot but then one person ruined it for me.  Or I let the person ruin it for me.

I also lost the weight when I was working part time.  I am working 40 hours a week and travel a lot for work that it is a whole different story.

I keep on making excuses for everything.  I used to go to the gym and be in a group that met twice a week.  I used to blog every day and I had lots of blogger friends and felt like my world was fantastic and then it all went to custard and now I am scared to blog and I have put on most of the weight I lost.

I realise I need to lose this weight.
I realise I need to have support.
I realise I have to stop eating junk
I realise I have to track my food
I realise I have to do exercise
I realise I need to support in return.

I realise that it is me stopping me.

I need a support friend..... anyone want to be mine?

WEIGH IN - sunday 25 September 2016

Starting weight today: 145 kgs (319 lbs)
...............................................................................................
1st Goal: 140 kgs (308 lbs)
2nd Goal: 135 kgs (297 lbs)
3rd Goal: 130 kgs (286 lbs)
4th Goal: 125 kgs (275 lbs)
5th Goal: 120 kgs (264 lbs)
6th Goal: 115 kgs (253 lbs)
7th Goal: 110 kgs (242 lbs)
8th Goal: 105 kgs (231 lbs)
9th Goal: 100 kgs (220 lbs)
10th Goal: 95 kgs (209 lbs)

Going to try

Going to try and see how many days I can make it doing some form of exercise every day.

So far the streak has been 2 days.

I am feeling quite good about this.

Been working the last week away from home so getting the exercise has been difficult.  But I can make a walk for 30 minutes anywhere if I only try.

I hate exercise.  But I need to do this.

I am even trying not to have too much food.  I am not giving up everything but I am cutting down and being aware of what I am eating.

Night night

Weigh In

Weigh in - Wednesday 29 June 2016

Starting weight today: 144 kgs (316.8 lbs)
...............................................................................................
1st Goal: 140 kgs (305.8 lbs)
2nd Goal: 135 kgs (297 lbs)
3rd Goal: 130 kgs (286 lbs)
4th Goal: 125 kgs (275 lbs)
5th Goal: 120 kgs (264 lbs)
6th Goal: 115 kgs (253 lbs)
7th Goal: 110 kgs (242 lbs)
8th Goal: 105 kgs (231 lbs)
9th Goal: 100 kgs (220 lbs)
10th Goal: 95 kgs (209 lbs)

I am ok with that weight.  I have come back blogging and usually put my highest weight and that I had lost 42 kgs (92 lbs) and then go yoyoing and I can't do that anymore.

I need to take the weight I am from now.  That is my weight and now I have to get this weight off.

Work grrrr why do I hate it so much at the moment.  I travel a lot and I also work in an office with people that are so two faced it does my head in.  One of the managers there (not mine thank god) is moaning to everyone about everyone... you can't trust her with anything and she knows everyone in her town.  Oh she does my head in.

I just want to go to work and work along with people to make this the best place and I have to deal with people like her.  The rest of the team is great.

Positives of the day:

• I got so much work done today as finally I read something that said I don't have to be a yes person.  So today I tried the word NO (saying No I can't right now but maybe later).  Felt better for it.
• Decided the nasty manager wasn't going to get my attention today.  If she wanted to ask me something I would but I would walk away if she was going to bitch and moan as I am not getting in to it.  Felt great
• Went to lunch with hubby

LuckyMama thanks for the comment....yep yep yep I am a volume eater for sure.... gotta get out of that habit lol.

Thanks for reading :-)

Hard work

Hard to work out what to do about my weight.

I want to lose weight but my head for some reason doesn't want to.

Is it because I then can't eat what I want or is it because I am lazy or is it because the first time around it was hard and took a while so it might be this again

First time around blogging helped me so much and then it got ruined and I didn't have the outlet anymore.

I need the support and I also need to support in return so I am back.

Today was a good day food wise and I tried hard not to drink or eat anything bad.  I felt good about the food.

I didn't get enough exercise today though.  I was focusing on getting the food down today.

Food is my problem.  I think it is the portion size not that I eat chocolate or chips or cheese etc it is the meat portion side and the carb portions that kill me.

I am going to try and blog here every day and get it out so I can get on with my life.

Work was ok today.  I felt angry all day about one of the ladies I work with and so I kept to myself.  I am sick of her moaning about everyone to me and it was just doing my head in.  She is a manager and she should not be doing that.  Tired of her doing that.  I wanted to keep out of her way and do my job.  Thank god she is not my manager.